Lesson #2: The Hand-Holding Game

Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of sitting right next to a newly blossoming couple on the night that they first hold hands? A group of friends all sit down to watch a movie, but it's obvious that tonight is the night for those two lovebirds to hold tightly to eachother's hands? Everyone in the room knows what's going on, the tension is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife, and (if you're sitting quite near to the couple) you can't seem to keep your eyes away from their hands! There's just a palpable agony in the air.

If you happen to be one of the lovebirds that's playing the game, it is ten times worse for you. Since I'm a girl, I will approach this matter from the girl's perspective. And so the game begins. First, there's the giving of the universal sign - the hand resting innocently on the leg. Often times the boy also has his hand resting innocently on his leg, because that's obviously the most comfortable way to sit. As the minutes pass, the hands inch closer and closer until they are decimeters aways from eachother or actually touching. Guys, this is where your creativity comes into play (and I am addressing the guys because, really, it is their job to make the move. Girls create the opportunity, boys makes the move). You may opt to sit with barely touching hands for a few minutes, or there's the ever-efficient pinky twitch - you know...when your pinky kinda twitches onto the other lover's pinky so as to spark some romantic intrigue and get your hands that much closer - or you can put your hand mostly on top of the girl's...the possibilities are endless!

Eventually, the couple will indeed grasp hands and the whole room can finally breathe easy and focus on the movie. But wouldn't it be so much nicer for everyone if that whole game was done away with? It's terrible for the players, it's awakward for the witnesses, and all in all it just doesn't need to happen. Boys - if you feel like it's the right time to hold the girl's hand, then she probably feels the same! She wants it, you want it, just do it.

A friend of mine (who is a boy) once said: "I would hope that when I'm ready to hold the girl's hand, our relationship would be at a good enough level that I could just hold out my hand to her and she would take it." Truer words were never spoken. Another option is to just ask! Obviously it depends on the couple, but I know my fair share of girls that wouldn't mind AT ALL if the boy whispered "Is it ok if I hold your hand?" in their ear.

So let's review! The options are: 1. Ask, 2. Hold out your hand for her to take, or 3. Just do it - just grab her hand. There are more acceptable options than just these three, I'm sure, but the bottom line is that the awkward "hand-holding game" is not one of them. Just don't do it. It's awkward for the couple, it's awkward for everyone around the couple, and there are so many better ways of bringing about that precious moment.

I have faith in you all. Take this knowledge, incorporate it into your lives, and make the world a better place.

Lesson #1: Car-horns Should be Seen and Not Heard

I will begin with a question: when is it appropriate to honk your car-horn? Answer: Never! Ok...there are maybe two scenarios in which it is acceptable (if someone is moving into your lane and is going to crash into you, or if they take more than ten seconds to respond to a green light), but in general it should remain silent.

But what if someone cuts you off? Slow down or change lanes.

But what if someone is driving a little crazy? Be careful.

But what if the light turns green and the person in front of you doesn't move for .08 seconds? WAIT PATIENTLY! They will notice the green light in under five seconds - guaranteed. If they take more than ten seconds to respond to the green light, then it is acceptable to politely tap the horn so as to direct their attention upward.

A story my mother told me: There once was a man whose son had just died in a car crash. Naturally, he had a lot on his mind, and so he didn't notice the left-turn arrow become green. The person behind him honked their horn in a very rude manner, he quickly realized why and proceeded forward. The driver behind that man had no way of knowing what that man was going through, but that is exactly the point.

We have no way of knowing what the other drivers on the road are dealing with. "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." So what if someone makes a mistake that causes you to have to slow down? Is it really imperative that you arrive at your destination 3 seconds sooner? If you're in that much of a rush, then the fault lies with you, not the other driver.

Bottom line - honking your horn is rude. It doesn't solve the problem, it just makes people angry. I doubt that any driver out there is driving like a moron just to be annoying, so try thinking about the other person before you go publicly criticizing them in a loud and embarrassing way.

The next time you find yourself flaring up because someone cut you off or is going too slow or whatever else, think to yourself: "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?" (Walk Two Moons). You are going to arrive at your destination in a timely manner whether you honk your horn or not. So why not take the high road instead of being rude, because the horn solves nothing.

"I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight

that to somebody's need made me blind;

But I never have yet felt a tinge of regret

for being a little too kind"